Bad Reputation
by Rienmi
Summary: Arthur is about to graduate from high school, and then move to the west side of London. But the reason behind it isn't just "study". No, the real reason is to never see the face of his adopted younger brother, whom he has had his eyes on ever since they met. Warnings; Yaoi.
1. I dreamt a dream

**Update:  
**

**So yeah, sorry about the horror I posted yesterday. I found many mistakes when I read it again ;_; Here's the "better" version of the fanfic. I hope it isn't that bad, English isn't my main language. I'm Dutch so...  
**

**Yeah, here are the warnings; It's yaoi. And it will get smutty after a while. So not right away at the beginning. Be cautious. I'm still a huge amateur at writing aha. But I'm currently working on my skills by having special literature classes at school ;u; **

**So don't worry! I'll get better... eventually... **

**Enjoy!**

**~Rienmi**

* * *

_What is the definition of a "dream"?_  
_Dream? Isn't that something you do in your sleep? Something your mind is reproducing of what happened that day?_  
_No, dreaming is also striving something with your heart. Something you wouldn't get no matter what you'd do. And what could I do to make it true? What could I do to turn a fantasy into reality?_  
_Nothing._  
_You know why?_  
_Because dreams aren't realistic._  
_And they never will be._

How hard it was to not push myself onto kissing him. His soft blond locks fell over his beautiful slender neck. The black glasses he always had on his nose were gone, revealing his sky blue eyes. Those eyes... Anyone would drown in them.  
And I was so afraid. So afraid that I would actually do something unwanted to him. Though that was nearly impossible, Alfred was much stronger and taller than me. But the urge was so strong... I had to hold myself back. We were family.  
And no, this wasn't really "incest". Alfred was adopted, he was a toddler when we got him in our house. He was so extremely cute I almost couldn't stop glomping him and pinching his cheeks.  
But children grow.  
And boy how much they do.  
Alfred, who had love for movies and video games, grew taller and handsomer by the day. His light blond locks turned into a light shade of caramel. His loud, high-pitched voice went from cute and squishy to low and cool. He was still noisy as bloody hell though.  
And oh my god how much he had grown. From 70 cm he shot up to 190 in the span of 13 years.  
He was bloody 30 cm taller than me! Unbelievable.  
And he was only 2 years younger than me. I was an 18 year old senior while Alfred was still a junior.  
I had the height of an average german girl! Quit laughing you git!  
Anyways, so I loved my brother. My mother had died long ago, and now we only had our extremely religious father.  
Oh, that's right. Here's another problem.  
I was a guy.  
That's right, yeah. My name was Arthur Kirkland, I was a guy in love with his own brother under surveillance of an extreme homophobe.  
Could it get any worse? You'd ask.  
Well, yes, it can.  
Because my father had to take care of two children, we had to live in a small, cheap apartment. Leaving me to share a room with America's next male topmodel.  
Oh yeah, and it gets worser!  
Alfred had a girlfriend. A Canadian one to be correct.  
Every time he talked about her it'd break my heart little.  
And now today, I was trying to study for finals. It was about 12 am already and Alfred was desperately trying to sleep.  
It was winter here in London. Every day he tried to calm down the chills that went up his spine due to the cold weather by putting on a giant bear overall.  
He was so adorable it just gave me a headache every time I'd see it.  
My gosh. Now he was just piercing my side with his blue spheres.  
I was trying to study for a biology exam for god's sake! Quit giving me freaking urges you tremendous dick!  
I tried to not turn bright red by his gaze, but it was nearly impossible.  
So I gave up.  
I sighed, pushed the wooden chair back and turned off the lights.  
"Huh? You finished already? I thought it was a long test!"  
_It was, you idiot. It's your fault if I lose it!_  
Alfred rolled over in his dark brown overall, I could see after my eyes had adapted to the darkness.  
The bunk bed, in which he had taken the bed almost touching the ceiling, creaked softly every time he moved around.  
I found myself staring at his back again. It was so straight and manly, I couldn't resist.  
My head rested against his', when I just leaned on his bed.  
Alfred gave a twitch in surprise. His back had given a small tingle when I did so.  
"Arthur..." He softly whispered.  
He rolled back again and looked at me in the eyes, but this time he was almost touching my face with his'  
"Go to sleep." He ordered. I filled my cheeks with air and childishly replied: "I don't want to!"  
He gave a small smile and caressed my hair.  
"Sometimes I really wonder which one of us is actually the younger one..."  
My head didn't move or twitch.  
I stared into his eyes.  
"Alfred, I adore you so much you adorable little piece of cuteness..."  
I pinched both his cheeks  
His face became a weird mix between confused eyes, red cheeks and a throat that made the weirdest noises when I stretched out his mouth.  
"Stahhpff, Arfuieer staaapf" ( stop, Arthur stop) he tried saying through my pinching.  
When I realized I was actually hurting his face, I removed my hands from his cheeks and gave a tiny chuckle.  
"That hurt you dick!" He said with an irritated expression while rubbing his hands against his cheeks.  
"That's for being so cute, it's your own fault! Haha!" I said with a bright smile of delight.  
The American was sitting straight on his bed, almost hitting the ceiling.  
"I still don't get why I have to sleep in the upper bed. I nearly hit my head every morning Arthie..."  
"You know i'm afraid of heights."  
"Yeah, but still..."  
I sighed in irritation and headed down to my own bed.  
"Good night Alfred!"  
"Arthu-"  
I turned off the lights when he was still speaking.  
Silence fell as the bed creaked softly under my back. I could hear Alfred breathe softly as he opened his mouth to talk again.  
"I was just going to ask if I could sleep down there with you..."  
Oh god, no.  
"Alfred, no."  
"Why not? I mean, I'm constantly hitting this darn ceiling..."  
I got silenced. And well, I didn't want to be the jerk-type of brother, so I sighed and said:  
"Alright, come down, but no body touching!"  
"Sure, sure..."  
The American boy just climbed down the wooden ladder, having it creak underneath his feet with every step he made.  
I felt the warm presence of a larger human body lying behind me, getting under the covers and then turn around.  
"Too bad I can't touch you, I know you're cold."  
Well yeah, my limbs! My heart was racing and my head was burning hot!  
I was struggling to not touch him. I could clearly smell his shampoo when I turned around, facing his caramel blond hair.  
Why couldn't I touch him? Wasn't he my little brother I always cared for? I always hugged and kissed?

Oh yeah, I was the one who forbid his touching...  
"Arthur" I heard him murmur. My green spheres opened wide in surprise when I heard my name being whispered.  
"I really want to hug you, why can't I?"  
The disappointment in his voice was clear and sound, having me shrug to it and refuse the desires I had for him to hug me.  
"Because you aren't a little kid any more, little kids grow."  
A small, dead moment of silence hit me in the face and I feared I had hurt his feelings.  
"Al?" I whispered softly, touching his back whereas he shook my hand off.  
Fear climbed up my back in a matter of seconds when he sat up and climbed up the ladder again.  
"Good night, Arthur." Alfred said in a dead voice.  
"I'm sorry" I heard myself weeping soft enough for his ears not to hear.  
My eyes filled up with tears.  
And I silently cried the idiot me to sleep.

Next morning he was gone, to school. I had school one hour later than him, so I woke up when he had just left the house.  
I still felt so miserably sick. But I had to do the damn exam, or else I had a problem. With my father and myself.  
I wanted to become a doctor. Or my dad wanted me to become a doctor.  
My back slowly straightened and and cracked.  
_Oh my god I'm getting old_, I thought, shrugging off the shiver going up my back.  
My back hurt, I was coughing and my chest was in pain...  
But I was _not_ allowed to stay home... I just couldn't.  
My hurting and itching throat was still making me cough as I headed to the bathroom after I checked my phone.  
The wet and cold bathroom floor made me shiver, and what made me shiver the most was when I took my clothes off. Why wasn't the damn heat turned on?! I ran into the shower as fast as I could and made the warm water fall down my back.  
Now, as I slowly woke up for real, I started thinking about what I'd do today.  
Right, shampoo.  
As I continued my hot shower, I started remembering yesterday's night. Alfred's voice... Oh god. Thinking about having the one I loved be mad at me made me sob quietly.  
But this crush wouldn't be for long. I was going to move to the west side of London after I passed my exams, to, you know, study there. So I wouldn't see Alfred anymore.  
Good, because then I wouldn't have this endless pain in my chest of not having him. It would be gone, forever.  
My chest was going to burst. The feeling of not having him with me was unbearable. My eyes had turned into the new niagara falls and I started crying hysterically, letting it all out.  
The only thing I hoped was that my father was gone.

The red emblem printed on my chest disappeared under my long, grey coat.  
I quickly reached a cab when I walked out of the street.  
The driver was a bald man with a mustache above his lip. He had a brown hat right behind his ears, giving the impression of him having giant ears. I softly chuckled when I got the picture of Dumbo the elephant in my head, but then continued examining the driver. There was a pair of thick glasses planted on his nose, right underneath his thick eyebrows.  
"Headed?"  
"East side academy, thanks."  
The car started and sent a small shake under me.  
After passing several different colored houses, I noticed the driver looking through the mirror into my eyes.  
"Young lad eh?"  
The heavy Irish accent dripping from his voice was clear. I smiled and nodded.  
"Isn't it cheaper to take the tube though, instead of a cab? I'm  
sorry if you don't want to answer, just trying to lighten the mood a bit ya know?"  
I shook my head.  
"Naaah, it's fine." I rested my arms behind my head as I leaned back against the seat. Looking out of the window, I started explaining.  
"Too noisy in the tube. I prefer the comfort of a soft car's seat instead of the cheap plastic seat and the smell of sweaty people pressing against you."  
I noticed the old man laughing softly before coughing twice.  
After a short pause I continued.  
"But then again, that's just a preference. My younger brother doesn't mind getting crushed between so many people."  
I sighed softly when thinking about Alfred. But not in the 'I love him' kind of way, no, more like the 'I'm tired of his bullshit' kind of way. Which really wasn't on purpose. I promise.  
"Fought recently?" The driver said when turning the wheel, making a u-turn before going right.  
"Yeah, well, not really a fight, more like a misunderstanding." I said, going back to my old, bend forward position. My hand stretched over the couch and I grabbed my brown, old bag.  
Unlike my father, I was able to afford these trips with ease. I had two part-time jobs. One as a waiter in a high-class restaurant and another as the local babysitter.  
And now you're probably wondering, why babysitting?  
Well, because I loved thinking about when Alfred was a kid while taking care of those kids. I loved doing so, they were so adorable!  
And no, I'm not a pedophile you stupid git! The only feelings I had for these kids was love as an elder brother.  
I just smiled thinking about little Matthew and Elisa. They were both so small and cute... Both held under the care of the stupid frog I used to have a teeny tiny crush on. But well, we had a 10 year age gap. And he took care of me when my mom needed a babysitter. I think he was just hitting on my mom.  
As we drove into the street I had named, the driver patted twice on his hat and stopped right in front of the school.  
"How much?"  
"10 pounds."  
I handed over the money and stepped out of the car.  
"Have a nice day sir!" I said, again he patted his hat and smiled at me, saying "same to you" in body language.  
I shut the door and walked through the gates. I could see Tim van Dijk with his little sister Bella standing by the front door. The Dutch man looked twice at his watch before looking at me, wave, and quickly lavish his attention back to his sister. He said something, patted her head and walked towards me.  
"G'morning, Arthie." Tim said when he joined me walking into the building.  
"Ah, hi Tim."  
"Learned well for the test?"  
"It's learnt, not learned you git. Respect the queen's English."  
Tim chuckled. "Still the same old Arthur I see."  
My cheeks turned red.  
"Of course! And yes, I learnt well. You?"  
"Well, yeah... If it wasn't for Laurence begging me to play with him."  
"Haha, same, but in my place it was Alfred nagging about the lights..."  
"Siblings suck"  
"Yeah..."  
An uncomfortable feeling shot through my body as I walked into the classroom. I felt my heavy eyelids almost drop with every step. My stomach hurt and my throat was just dead. It felt as if I had worked out for 10 hours long. Every muscle in my body hurt. It was so horrible I nearly shouted in pain when I sat down on a hard wooden chair.  
Tim just stared at me as we parted and he walked to his seat. There was a big, invisible question mark painted on his forehead.  
I just smiled and shook my head.  
The class was loud until our biology teacher walked in.  
Oh god. Silence, it was everywhere! It was creeping up my back and it itched. Yet the teacher managed to break the virtue. He explained the normal test rules once again. No cheating, no talking, no communication between classmates, no questions.  
The tall man gave the sheets to the people in the front row, who'd pass it behind them until the last one had their test.  
_Alright, question number one._  
My head began to spin in no time, and with trouble I wrote down my answer. Every movement I made hurt like hell, even my hands.  
What was this?  
_Question number 2._ Already made some progress. My hand was shaking, now I couldn't even control my own physique! My mind and body were completely fatigued. I softly panted, writing down every single letter, feeling as if it would take forever to write down one answer. One line Arthur, one bloody line. Was it that difficult? Yeah it was.  
_Just... Three... More... Letters..._  
Finishing my answer I proceeded to number 3 from the 10 questions we had to make.  
But I just couldn't.  
My body gave up, and everything became pitch black before my eyes. Leaving me to fall into an enigma surrounded by darkness.

* * *

**Hetalia belongs to Himaruya C:**

**So yeah, the characters: **

**Arthur: England (duh)**

**Alfred: America (le double duh)**

**Father: Some random non-hetalia guy**

**Alfred's girlfriend: Fem!Canada**

**Taxi driver: Also a random guy.**

**Matthew: Canada (le triple duh)**

**Elisa: Seychelles **

**Francis: France (overduh)**

**Tim van Dijk: The Netherlands **

**Bella van Dijk: Belgium **

**Laurence van Dijk: Luxembourg.**

**To prevent confusion in the next chapter aha ;u;**

**There's a perfect review box underneath this, you know what to do! **

**~Rienmi**


	2. Who am I really?

**Yahooo~ It's Rienmi again, with the new chapter of Bad Reputation~**

**After a lot of struggle, I finally finished the damn chapter! This chapter will be on Alfred's point of view. Guys, I'm sorry if I made a few mistakes here and there ;~; I hadn't slept for an entire day and I was so tired. I looked it through though and changed a few things... If it isn't yet TOO horrible, I hope you enjoy it.** **So you will see a few new names in here. Emily = Fem! England, Kiku = Japan, Madeline = Fem! Canada.** **(Sorry if I use too much nyotalia in the story hehe.)** **~Rienmi**

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My name? What was my name? Who was I? I was a man, for sure. But sometimes I liked to disappear in my dreams and pretend I was somebody else. A kid, a woman, a rich man, even an animal would do. As long as reality was completely lost and I could just drown in my dreams. And nobody could see them. Nobody could get into my deepest, dirtiest fantasies.

Was I even allowed to have such fantasies as a 16 year old?

Wait, but how did I know I was 16 years old? Where was I running to? Why was everything so dark? Why was there water splashing underneath my feet? Why was the puddle giving light and reflection when I looked into it?

What I saw kind of creeped me out.

I saw an unhappy, tall, blond man with a pair of glasses covering his sky blue eyes. He looked so... unsatisfied. What was missing? It looked as it he had everything his heart desired. A job, a blond girl next to him I could surely label as his wife, kids, running in the background, a big house, also clearly reflected. I wondered and wondered, but I just couldn't understand! What was missing in his life?

And then something peculiar happened.

His wife and children turned around and walked away. Leaving the tall man alone in the darkness. The man wasn't looking surprised, no, he was expecting it.

And after the man had fallen down to his knees, I felt this intense pain in my stomach. As if someone had just stabbed it. The unhappy man chuckled and with that the water stopped giving light and every source of reflection or illumination disappeared.

Sweat dripped down my temples when I realized I had woken up and was actually staring intensely at the ceiling above my head. But then again, my vision was blurry and my glasses were down the ladder, next to Arthur's bed. And he needed rest, not some kid bothering him.

Arthur had gotten a high fever over the past few days, and I had to take care of him. The younger brother, taking care of his older brother... But what could I do? After carrying him from school to the fifth floor of this wreck yesterday I hadn't had the slightest clue what to do! He was acting all tough and tried to run away for the important exam. But I held him down until our father came home and started treating him.

My father was the one who measured his fever and made me watch as he cured my older brother. The only thing I did in his recovery was taking the things he wanted to him and giving him his food. Well, not to his mouth obviously, but to the room. I wasn't completely useless... I guess...

So yeah, for if you're wondering about what I had just dreamt, then sorry, because I hadn't had the slightest clue about what these dreams were all about. They were pretty scary, and very realistic at times.

My older brother coughed twice and I looked down over the border of my bed to observe him. But well, when I got down I saw him looking at me. "Sorry, did I wake you up...?" He said. His face was completely red and his voice was super soft all of sudden. But he was so cute and innocent like this. Not that I liked having my brother sick, but normally he would be grumpy all the time and give me these looks of anger suddenly without reason. That always made me question if he hated me or not, because I honestly adored Arthur.

'No, don't worry about it...' I threw myself back in the pose I was before, facing the white ceiling. My hand flipped the white light switch and a tiny lamp on the wall went on. What did surprise me, was that when he was sick and I had carried him home, I heard him whisper "I love you." Before he fell asleep on my back. What was that?

The way he said it was as if he was confessing his love to me, his younger brother! Oh gosh what was I thinking, of course it wasn't a confession of love! It was a brotherly "I love you for helping me", of course ahahaha!

But what if it wasn't and Arthur really had a crush on me? Wasn't this incest then? Obviously yeah. And also homosexuality, which our dad also disapproved to the core. He always said it was against God, that homosexuality was something really bad. But of course, Arthur and I knew it wasn't. We never listened to our father. Because we knew better. Hell, we considered ourselves smarter than that old man.

Why was it something of the devil to love someone with all your heart? Arthur and I never understood that. How could you choose wether you liked women or men? It wasn't a choice! But our ignorant father wouldn't listen. So I just silently nodded my head everytime he started talking, already expecting Arthur would tell me something different afterwards. And now that I think about it, Arthur had raised me better than that old man would've. He said it was the way our mother taught him. I couldn't remember her that well, she died when I was 6. And yeah, you might have already a lot of memories at 6, but her face still remains vague.

Arthur was the one that had suffered most because of it. He cried nearly everyday, craving for his mom to come back. And yeah, I was sad too, because I realized she was missing after a while. But I wasn't as sad as my older brother. Instead, I tried cheering him up by making a drawing for him every day. Or I would lay down next to him and we would fall asleep together.

Gosh, how much I missed the times when he didn't reject my hugging. The other night was also horrible. I just wanted to relive the childhood for God's sake, not molest him. But no, mr-allergic-to-touching went all, "Alfred, you aren't a kid anymore, little kids grow."

Stupid Arthur. Those words hurt me a lot, and I honestly hadn't planned to talk or see him the next day. But of course, he fell sick and aside from having me _drag_ him home, I also had to hear him say he loved me.

"Alfred..." My brother's weak voice pulled me out of thoughts when I was just getting angry at him again. "Hm?" I said, as calm as possible. He softly panted twice before beginning a phrase again. "Thank you and I'm sorry..."

Wait.

What?

Arthur Kirkland was saying he was SORRY? Was that even possible? He was always so damn proud he never dared to apologize! Were the words 'I'm sorry' even added in his vocabulary?!

I looked over the edge once again to see a guy with a reddened face and teary eyes pant softly.

O-okay then, you wouldn't see such an expression on Arthur that easily...

"Please come down..." He said quietly.

What the hell? What was going on? I followed his request after turning off the light switch and lowered myself to touch the cold floor. Now that I could see a close up of the digital alarm clock placed on Arthur's night stand, I could clearly see it was about 3 in the morning.

Wait, did that mean Arthur had not been able to sleep until now?

"Come here." He spread his arms, or so I could halfly see in the dark.

Was it alright to lay down next to him? Well, wasn't he practically telling me to do so? Argh, whatever. I laid down next to him and turned around so I wasn't able to see his face. But Arthur didn't care wether I was facing him or not, he just put his arms around me and buried his face in my back.

What was happening? Arthur wasn't supposed to be cute! Ah well, I had almost forgotten how warm the embrace of my older brother was. I turned around and put my arms around the smaller man.

"I love you... Alfred" I heard him whisper once again.

I felt my face turning crimson as soon as I felt his breathing against my neck.

Oh God. Why was my heart beating so fast?! We were brothers for God's sake! And I had a girlfriend! Wait, what was I thinking? Was I seriously thinking about doing something to my brother?

Eww, gross!

But... He seemed so innocent and cute... His lips were so close...

Alfred, no! Get your shit together!

As soon as I saw Arthur was asleep when I was having a mental argument with myself, I turned around to avoid looking at his face.

Oh my god I had a fucking erection.

Never again!

I guess that's why Arthur refused to sleep in the same bed with me. I was such a dirty pig, and Arthur knew it.

But then I felt his warm arms around me again and I flinched in surprise. Why? Why was he still hugging me? Was it the symptoms of his fever? I recall he was pretty loose from his previous fevers, but he never clung onto me as if he was desperate to keep me there, next to him.

As if he was afraid I'd leave him. But then again, what was the problem? We shared a room for fuck's sake! Argh, I was already thinking too long about this. Tomorrow would be friday, so I just had two days until sunday.

Good, then I had enough time to prepare. It would be mine and Madeline's 2nd date.

Madeline was so cute. Her voice was so soft and sweet, people wouldn't hear her much. And yeah, we were kind of a 'different' couple because of that. My voice was very loud, and her voice was very soft. She was very calm and I was very active. We didn't share much likes altogether. I don't even know why I started dating her, she confessed to me a couple of weeks ago. And yeah, we've gone on dates, held hands and kissed a couple of times, but aren't those the things you do when you're normally in a relationship?

I mean, sure, I liked my current girlfriend, but you couldn't say I was 'in love' with this girl. And as mean as it sounds; she was only there for comfort...

What even is love? I had never had these strong feelings for a person like everyone's blabbing on about. Most people seem so happy in a relationship, but I get bored so easily and just wound up end up hurting the other party.

Hopefully I wouldn't end up hurting Maddie.

I sighed softly and closed my eyes again in an attempt to sleep.

Arthur was still hugging me so very tight I could feel his... Uhm, 'sunshine' rub against my bottom, which made me blush so terribly again.

Gosh, Arthur.

Maybe you do have a crush on me.

"Kikuuu would you please play _soccer_ with meeeee?' I practically begged the Japanese exchange student.

He was eating his lunch so shyly and quiet, as if he didn't want to get noticed. I had already asked him 12 times in a row, but he always refused. He looked at me again after the thirteenth time and then sighed.

"..._football_, Alfred."

"Isn't _football_ the same as _soccer_?"

"Yeah, but you can't just throw American words when we're speaking English... It's confusing"

That's right, but even though I was born in England, I liked the American culture and way of speaking much more. But that was just me, nobody else liked America as much as I did here in England, I was so different from my family and friends, it somehow felt lonely sometimes... Sometimes I even wondered if I was adopted or not, everyone in my family was so different. Not to mention I was the only one with blue eyes in the Kirkland family.

But then I had assumed our mother must've had blue eyes, or else I would have really been adopted. I had seen pictures of mom yeah, but you couldn't see the eye color very clearly.

I guess I would have to ask my father about her eye color. Or I could ask overly honest and bold sick Arthur about it.

And then the_ bloody_ bell rang.

Kiku and I hadn't had the chance to play _football _yet, and we already had to go to chemistry class...

Ugh.

"Al, how about, instead of sports we have a horror movie night tomorrow night?"

I grabbed my bag again, looked back at Kiku and replied:

'Sure, sounds like fun, I'll bring the snacks.'

And then we both left for chemistry class.

"Hey dad," Entering the living room, I saw the assiduous old man doing some paperwork

"can I ask you about something?"

His green eyes went over the papers one more time before he lavished his attention on me. He placed his big, rough hands under his chin and peeked over his glasses.

"What's wrong?" I inhaled slowly, repeated the words one by one in my head and then began to talk.

"What was my mom's eye color?"

My dad went silent all of sudden, which made me wonder if there was something he wanted to keep for himself or confess. His eyes went from looking down, to looking at his right and then nervously start moving his hands in a round movement. He wouldn't have to think about something as trivial as my mom's eye color that long, would he?

"Dad-" I got interrupted by my father as soon as I started talking again. "Alfred, sit down please."

He pushed the chair next to him back, patting the seat.

I slowly did as he ordered.

Oh god, I was innerly freaking out before the man even opened his mouth to talk.

Here it comes...!

"Your mother... She had brown eyes."

My eyes widened in shock. Brown eyes, brown eyes. Wait. A couple with brown and green eyes can't have a child with blue eyes.

...WHAT?!

A shiver went down my spine.

"I'm ADOPTED?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

My father slowly brought his hand next to his head, took off his glasses and put them on the table.

"I was waiting until the time was ready..."

"AND WHEN WOULD THAT BE?!" Suddenly my body started shaking.

My family, I had been lied to my whole life? I wasn't a Kirkland as everyone told me?

Then who was I? I was Alfred yes, but who was my mother? Not the dead one, the real one. The one that had carried me for nine months and then gave me away

... Argh, and now I was crying like a little girl.

But I didn't care. Their fault for keeping it from me for 16 damned years.

I had been deceived for as long as I lived...

"Alfred-"

"WHAT!? Just... Leave me alone for a while please... I..." My voice softened at the end of the phrase.

My father put his hands on my shoulders, cupped my face between his hands and answered:

"You are Alfred, maybe not a Kirkland by blood, but you are definitely a Kirkland for Arthur, Emily and me. And do not forget I have loved you more than anything in the world. You are my son, never forget that."

He got up, grabbed his papers and walked out of the door, leaving me alone in the living room.

I sprinted back to my room and saw Arthur sitting on his usual wooden chair, studying for monday. His face was still red, he had a blanket covering him and he looked very tired.

"Arthur, what the fuck do you think you're doing? Go back to bed!"

The Brit looked at me and scowled.

"But I need to study-"

"No you don't, you need to rest."

"Don't be annoying, Al."

...Ouch.

Did he seriously say that to me? After I took care of him, did everything he wanted me to do, and even now, when I was emotionally unstable and was about to burst out in crying he was saying that?

Not that he could know I just heard I wasn't his family.

"Fine!" I slammed my hand onto the creaky, wooden table and looked at him intensely.

"Did you know all this time?"

Arthur's thick brows furrowed.

"About what?"

"Oh, don't play stupid, about me being adopted!"

Arthur's green spheres widened as he got up from his chair.

"...You found out?"

I began to glare at him. Why hadn't he told me?! We were so close, all these years of trust we shared, and he never old me anything?! I was so damn frustrated for some reason...

And then a thought came flying to my head.

Arthur said he loved me didn't he?

And without thinking, I just spat out the words:

"Are you in love with me?"

* * *

**GNEGNEGNEGNE I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS AHAHA /tackled by the American ****_football _****team**

***coughs***

**Hetalia belongs to Himaruya!**

~**Rienmi**


End file.
